Wednesday, July 05, 2006

This monkey's gone to heaven...

NB. Might make more sense to read the post below first. Or not, as you like. Also, still figuring out fonts, so editing a bit. Sorry.

*typing very quietly*

Beautiful Moravian Whitney wakes up. She is on a magnificent stallion thundering through the forest-jungle. She looks down with her beautiful brown princess eyes to see a pair of handsome gorilla warrior hairy arms. She is in the firmly-muscled hairy arms of the handsome gorilla warrior! She is riding on a stallion thundering through the leafy forest-jungle! Sheer drama and excitement of the moment overwhelms the beautiful Moravian princess Whitney and she swoons, gracefully.

Beautiful Moravian princess Whitney wakes up. She is in a soft bed and her beautiful princess shape lies on silken sheets. Her beautiful brown eyes open like big brown pools. They look arou- Oi! What do you think you're doing, you great big furry lump?

Give me that keyboard!


Whitney saw she was in a beautiful room. It had big windows and a big door. In the room were a bed, two chairs and two night tables. The bed was performing? ten inches? icicles? ohh… covered with a silk thingy. The silk thingamajig was somethingorother with a toaster and a gold lobster? labrador? (Oh soddit, I'll skip this bit. It's only boring description.)

Whitney special-verb-for-walked (woo-hoo!) to the window. Looking out, she saw an enormous and beautiful courtyard filled with happy peasants in picturesque national dress. Some smiled and waved at her. A woman started to sing a joyful song of welcome.

At that moment, Whitney sensed a dark and brooding presence behind her and turned, ready to face her unknown captor... *Enraged howling* Get your stinking paws off that book, you damn dirty monkey! I'll wring your so-dull-and-boring neck, you soulless maniac! Your writing has no poetry, no beauty, no Art!!! Where is your heart? Your passion???

*sound of a bag of crisps or possibly a small primate being shaken*

Gurrrrkk…paws… no… dirty… bozo… just... had... pedicure…

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