Don't mess with a dictionary man

Many people say many things to me. They say things like, "What are butter beans?" and "Are you finished with the drying rack?" "That man is naked! We have our own ugly naked man! No, don't look - he'll see you staring!" and "A koala isn't really a bear, tee-hee-hee. It's a marsupial."

They also say things like, "Evil Auntie Peril, as someone who possesses the most marvellous and beautiful red shoes (new ones for summer) and striped hot pink happy kneesocks, you are clearly something of a fashion maven. Tell me, oh guru of the second-hand clothing rails, what is the well-dressed man wearing this season?"

Ummm… well actually the latter was something of a lie. Most people would probably prefer to waltz down the High St. clad in nowt but a teeny-weeny Burberry thong and matching puce Wellington boots, partnered by said ugly naked neighbour (and he looks rather heavy to be treading on one's dainty toes) than say something so patently nonsensical. Maybe it's the layering and "DangerMouse" t-shirt with fizzing bomb on the back? It could never be the delightful footwear.

Until last Sunday, I would have been stumped by such a question, and replied with pathetic hesitation, "Err… hipster jeans? Converse? Some kind of retro thingy?" Luckily, once again, the producers of Kapesní Slovník s vý slovností have ridden to the rescue on their snow-white dictionary with little Czech flags a-flying. I can only defer to their greater wisdom.

Since there is only one page of male clothes compared with four for the beautiful lay-deez (including she of the stretch dress), I can only conclude that men are supposed to wear fewer clothes than women, something our neighbour opposite appears to have taken to heart.

So anyhow, if a picture paints a thousand words, here are sixteen of mine. Most of them aren't even real ones that a person could look up in the dictionary. Maybe that's why they gave us pictures instead:

Look!
Blue
Y-fronts.
Snicker.
No!
Better!
Indigoooe.
Gigoloh-ee-oh.
Oh.
And
Matching
Vest.
Bay-beee.
Shineeee.
PJs
Garrk.