Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Anger is the enemy…

…Ridicule is your friend.

Look, the summer vibe still fills me with delight and wonder. But for some reason it appears to have gone to some people's heads in a remarkably, ummm, heady way. So just a personal appeal here.

In very public places that aren't the beach (maybe we could think of them as places that don't sell ice cream or something), and especially these nifty air-conditioned offices we have, please, I am begging you on my knees, PUT SOME BLOODY CLOTHES ON. Just some. I'm not picky. A shirt, a pair of long shorts or a skirt that is closer to your knees than your nether regions. Note that I am not requesting a ban on knees. Or shoulders. Or sandals. Even if you insist on wearing them with socks.

But enough with the midriff baring, low-cut, backless tops and short shorts. A tan, real or otherwise, is not part of an outfit. It's more like an accessory.

Anyhow, otherwise I might have to start pointing out that what looks really good in front of the mirror with carefully controlled, upright posture is less-than-successful at communicating a professional and elegant demeanour when slumped in front of a computer in a desk chair.

Besides the obvious health and safety implications, there is a reason why glossy mags tend to feature models wearing such outfits in glorious outdoor scenes and/or glamorous designed interiors, rather than frolicking among ergonomic modular workstations, prefab filing cabinets and mold-injected "easy-clean" plastic desk furniture. Even if you put a great big poster of the beach on your office partition wall and stand in front of it all day long, it's just not the same thing. Trust me. The lighting's all wrong.

If it's really that hot, let me know and I'll buy you a fan. 'Kay?

End rant.


Karen Scott said...

Sounds like you've been round my village. Have I seen some right sights.

There was a middle-aged bloke walking his dog the other day, and he was shirtless. Trust me when I say that he wasn't a Brad Pitt look-alike by any stretch of the imagination.

EvilAuntiePeril said...

What is it with the middle-aged man and summer? It's like the heat fries their brains. The other day I saw two blokes walking down the road in speedos and trainers. Nothing else.

But y'know, I can live with most of it, except in the office. I mean, we have customers coming through all the time...

jmc said...

I work in a government building with a "business casual" dress code ... which means I see three piece suits and denim both. But I can't even imagine the kinds of clothing you must be seeing to prompt a post like this one ;)

EvilAuntiePeril said...

Feel my pain, jmc. This morning at 8:30am, if you can believe it: electric blue and fuschia floral-print lycra mini-dress with plunging V-neck. I don't know a way to describe how short it is without being rude. The lack of length makes sitting in any position impossible.

Then 4-inch white stilettos with ribbons criss-crossing all the way up the calves. Make-up and jewellery to match. I just don't know where to look except maybe the plant behind her.