Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Zen and the art of olfactory maintenance

From Star Scents' promotional website, a celebrity endorsement for Cliff Richard's perfumes:

I bought it especially for my Mother, and I can't wait for the Scented Candle for me.
- Christopher "He came, he saw, he damned with faint praise" Biggins

In fact, Sir Cliff and that sensitive-nosed mistress of the balmy arts, Sheila Pickles, have managed to capture in scent the essence of not one, but three of his pop hits: "Dream Maker", "Miss You Nights" and the latest release, out for Christmas 2006, "Devil Woman". The target audience for this new scent are the legions of Cliff fans who know that smelling like Cliff is the next best thing to being with Cliff, and some other women who want a warm, musky fragrance.

Why buy Danielle Steele perfume and exude the odour of overblown emotional drama, when you can smell of clean-cut 60s pop songs (except for the sultry, moody one in the corner)? In the company of such nice people too. To help you choose from the wider range of scented products, a sample Eau de Toilette set of all three perfumes is now available. As Sir C. himself reminds us, "The different scents in these beautiful perfumes evoke memories of each of my homes."

On the "Cliff-Guaranteed" fansite, the man bares his odourous soul and reveals that he shares Olivia Newton John's love for the fruity, musky scent, "Devil Woman". He describes its topnotes of grapefruit and bergamot; its delicious cassis heart. For him, the heady and alluring evening fragrance evokes "...exotic and distant lands - places where I may well have performed the song on some far-away tour." Oh, for the scents and sounds of those far-away tours. Those far, far-away tours.

But perhaps Joan Collins sums it up best in her inimitable style, "Like everything Cliff does, this will go straight to Number One."

4 comments:

Tricky said...

Aah, eau de closeted homosexual!

Maybe he has those folded-over perfume scented adverts in Saga and Yours! magazine...

Suisan said...

Whoa.

Being an American, I'm a little out of the loop on the Cliff Richards phenom, but ooo boy. That there Perfume website's a doozie. I guess we DO need smell-o-vision.

Bookwormom said...

I'm with Suisan- who's Cliff Richards?? I only want smellovision for Food TV.

EvilAuntiePeril said...

tricky, you can always pick up a sample in your local branch of The Perfum Shop and let us know your opinion.

suisan & bookwormom, how to describe the phenomenon of barely-leashed blandish charm that is Sir Cliff Richard? He was a hugely popular singer in the UK, and then the Beatles came along...

Since then, (there was a revival as a "grittier" model in the 70s, but it's too painful to think about), his career seems to revolve around annually inflicting the notoriously sentimental Christmas pop charts with a irony-free ballad which each year is more mawkish than the last, while complaining about the lack of radio airplay.

But smell-0-vision? Maybe for travel tv too...