Monday, April 23, 2007

No, we are not being served.

Resist the urge...

Something I always struggle with is the whole loggorhea thing. It's my dream to write the perfect, pithy sentence, full of wisdom and meaning. Something zen, like a single, perfectly-placed stone in an expanse of purest white sand. Or the total emptiness of the space where a possibility once existed... the one between your ears. You know, there is a reason we hide those vanished possiblities in the cupboard.

So while I don my nifty grasshopper costume (after wrestling to get the zip over the wings) and continue to study the art of saying a great deal with very few words at the hairy-toed feet of my masters, let us take a moment of quiet inspiration and contemplate what might be my very favorite JD Robb cover* translated into Czechish. If you don't know the author, she's written a series of cracking thrillers set in the near future which feature a fully-clothed female detective.

The cover artist in this case seems to have taken less-is-more to hitherto unimagined levels. For us, it's a lesson in worthy restraint. Be noble, be strong. Snicker ye not. I dare you.

*ting* of meditation bell

Just goes to show what a misunderstood genius can do with an old magazine and a pair those safety scissors with the rounded ends.

Disclaimer: SBTB did have first dibs on this, (For all your cover snark needs - visit SmartBitchesTrashyBooks. Professional, reliable service with a snarl. No back-combed mullet too big or small. Bonus mantitty with your tenth visit. Now with added fibre and leather-trousered vitamins.) but it's been a while. Candy or Sarah may apply a delicate boot to my posterior if they feel I've breached netiquette.


fiveandfour said...

I think my favorite part has to be the cat. Naked men get swords-as-metaphors...and women get cats. It all makes perfect sense.

From now on I want to see leaping cats on ALL book covers if there's a naked or almost-clad woman featured thereon.

(At least it wasn't something like a woman getting her purse snatched.)

EvilAuntiePeril said...

Yup, the weirdly-proportioned cat was what got me too. Without it, it's just another naked woman on a book. The cat lifts it to a different metaphorical plane altogether.

And the possibilities for male sword/stallion/staff/savage lightning bolt equivalents are endless - although the purse-snatching one is quite brilliant.

Darlene Marshall said..., I get it! It's covering her pus--

Never mind. Is that supposed to be Eve Dallas' cat Galahad? And who do they think is their target audience? Everyone knows real women want man-titty and mullets on the cover, not naked broads.

EvilAuntiePeril said...

Hi Darlene - I think it is supposed to be Galahad. Poor, poor Galahad. Poor Eve. Poor disappointed Czech readers because the cover targets exactly the wrong demographic.