Sunday, September 27, 2009

The story of last month (mostly)

Look! Ebook
Look! Ebook
Ebook! look!

This nice e-book!
This nice e-book!
I cannot read
This nice e-book!

Do you like,
E-ink displays?

I do not like this,
Ebook haze!
I do not like
This ebook maze!

Would you like it
PDF?

I would not like it
PDF.
I’ve said this to you,
Are you deaf?
I do not like
This ebook maze
Although I like
E-ink displays.

You can buy A
or PM.
Would you like it
DRM?

I cannot shop A
And PM
I do not like this
DRM
I do not want it
PDF
I’ve said this to you
Are you deaf?
I do not like this ebook maze
Despite their nice e-ink displays.

Please download our
Free software.
A table here lets
You compare.

No free software.
No questionnaire.
A or P M
No DRM
I do not want it PDF
I said before, are you quite deaf?
I do not like this ebook maze
Despite their nice e-ink displays.

Would you? Could you?
On a MAC?
Encrypted files,
Ever hack?

I would not
Could not,
On a MAC.

You must find your
PID.
Then plug in the
USB.

I cannot find my USB!
Nor anywhere my PID!

I clicked the link for free software
But these devices cannot share.
Why can’t it read acsm?
Sod this bloody DRM.
I’ve lost all these old PDFs
Why did I change IP address?
I’m lost inside an ebook maze
Seduced by nice e-ink displays.

A Palm! A Palm!
A Palm! A Palm!
Could you, would you,
On a Palm?

Not on a Palm! I cannot see!
Not on a MAC! No! Not for me!

I downloaded the new firmware
No memory! None left to spare!
I like to read things now and then -
Reboot connection, yet again.
The plastic case does not impress -
I click and wait for its refresh.
I fear how fast my temper frays,
Sharp shocks can harm e-ink displays.

Hey!
In this shop!
Here in this shop!
Would you, could you, in this shop?

I would not, could not,
In this shop.

Would you, could you,
Amazon?

I can not, CAN not Amazon!
Geography bars tech’s new dawn.
Interest here may start to dwindle
In the distant light of Kindle.
Not in this state. Not with this card.
Two years to wait. Why is this hard?
E-hopes have turned to e-dismay
Dust forms on my e-ink display.

You do not like
This nice ebook?

I do not
Want this
Ebook pain.

Could you, would you
Join th’e-club?

I would not
Could not
Join your club.

Why not try out
With ePub?

I will not, still not, join th’e-club
I want to read books in the tub.
My favourite books I pass along
In ebook world, this would be wrong.
I’m geographically constrained
The books I want, I can’t obtain.
I do not want to tweak software
Converting files makes me despair.
I do not have a shiny MAC
Encrypted files, refuse to hack.
I do not like this ebook maze
No love left for e-ink displays.

I do not like
This strain.
Ebook.

I will no longer
Take a look.

You do not like them
So you say
Read here! Click there!
And you may.
Click here and you may, I say.

Look!
If you will let me be
Once more I’ll try
You will see.




Beep


Whirr
Whirr


Boop.
...
...
Grrreee-
-oop


Bing!

Hey!
The download worked. Take a look!
I’ve found and filed my first ebook!
And I can read it in my bed
And it can bookmark what I’ve read.

And I can read it on the train
And in the dark, but not the rain.
And I can buy, A or PM
Although I still hate DRM.

So I will read it in my flat
And I must stick to this format
And I must read on my PC
Until I find my PID
And I still hope one of these days
Won’t just admire e-ink displays

At last I've read
My nice e-book!
IT
Degree
I should’ve took.

(with apologies to Dr. Seuss)

6 comments:

BaronessBlack said...

LOVE this!

EvilAuntiePeril said...

Thanks, hon!

Kate R said...

love.

it.

Lyvvie said...

What did you download to make it work - I need to know!!!

I think Seuss would be proud.

EAP said...

Hi kate,

Thank

You. ;-)

Hi Lyvvie, at the moment, I'm half way there... Brace yourself...

1) Downloaded Adobe Digital Editions (free)
2) This inexplicably then pulled all my existing pdfs into its library and version
3) But then didn't seem to find the new, shiny pdf of "Hunting Ground" that I had purchased in my enthusiasm. (It was supposed to be easy, why would I want to have my first ebook experience on a pesky "test book"??)
4) After much frustration, howls of rage and hair-pulling, I clicked on the properties of the downloaded file (which had stashed themselves in My Digital Editions) 5) I opened properties of the .pdf file (while online - there are 2 files, one for the right to download and one for what you download) and then chose ADE as the programme with which to read this file. And it worked.
6) Except I still cannot download this file from the laptop to the ebook.
7) I have downloaded free files, but the print is tiny.
8) And I'm not sure I want to try another book in case it doesn't work.
9) And I have no idea what will happen if my laptop explodes into flames, as it surely will do one fine day.
10) Rinse
11) Lather
12) Repeat
13) Sigh.

Anonymous said...

Hey EAP! I never seem to have your contact info, or your "little" brother's. Thanks for your kind Christmas wishes & would love to see any of you, any time, at our island paradise.
-our best, S,S, R & S.