Wednesday, December 06, 2006

An angel on my shoulder. And a devil. And a bishop.

Well, here's how the Czechs celebrate St.Nicholas' (sv. Mikulás) Day. (5th December)


1. Acquire costume.

Angel - white flowing clothing, tinsel halo and some wings. Blonde wig and face paint optional.
St.Nicholas - white beard, gold and red robes of a vaguely clerical kind, wood crook.
Devil - red horns, black wig, red and black clothes, black face paint. Sinister sack.

2. Wander around areas heavily populated by children.
3. Demand if child has been good (bishop is head inquisitor).
4. Child shrieks. Bellows poem or song.
5. Child receives sweets from angel.

6. Identify naughty child (parents usually grass).
7. Child receives coal from devil.

8. Identify very naughty child (see bad child).
9. Child kidnapped, popped in devil's sack (see costume) and carried off to Hell. This may be metaphorical if exit routes are blocked.

10. Laugh at shrieks of terrified children.
11. Sing songs.
12. Drink svařák*.


1. Wander around areas heavily populated by sellers of svařák*.
2. Buy svařák*.
3. Drink svařák*.
4. Drink more svařák*.
5. Notice a few people wearing plastic twinkling devil's horns.
6. Look around for seller of twinkling devil's horns.
7. Buy twinkling devil's horns.
8. Wear twinkling devil's horns. Backwards. More evil that way.
9. Drink more svařák*.
10. Let off firecrackers under tyres of passing cyclists.
11. Eat a sausage. (Veggies may observe eating of sausage and pass comment.)
12. Drink more svařák*.

*svařák* = hot mulled wine of the Czech kind. Left "*" on because it has a little zing.


RPC said...

I do hope you were the kind of devil who carried very naughty children off to hell. Or even the kind of devil who teased and tempted children to be particularly sinful so that you could trick them into being fast-tracked to The Hot Place. This is, I feel, the true underlying sentiment behind 'being' evilauntieperil.

EvilAuntiePeril said...

Fret not, rpc, I was polishing the slippery slope with the best of the other workers of eeeeviillle.