Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Flat to the future

Astonishingly, this is a completely different individual to those mentioned before.

"Hello?"
"Hello. This is K---. I am here for the flat."
"K---. Have we spoken before?"
"I am here to see the flat."
"Yes, but you are new to me. How did you hear about the flat?"
"You are not comfortable to live with me?"
"I want to know how you got this number."
"You don't want to live with strange person? I am a good person to live with. I like people. I have a job. I will not torment you."
"That's fine, I'm sure. But who gave you my phone number?"
"I work for [insert name of well-known courier company here]."
"Yes, but how did you hear about the flat?"
"I live all over the world. Shanghai, Chicago."
"Where in PRAGUE did you hear about this flat?"
"I live ten years in Chicago. I am an operator."
"WHO GAVE YOU MY PHONE NUMBER?" (catching, see?)
"R---.* He did not like the flat, but I do."
"Oh. I am sorry, but I've found someone else."** (should've done that six questions ago)
"I live ten years in Chicago."
"I am sorry, but there is no room to rent here."
"No room?"
"No. No room anymore."
"You sure?"
"Yes, quite sure."
"It's not because you don't want to live with me?"
"No. There is someone else."
"Oh. Okay. Bye."
"Bye."

Drrrrr....
Five minutes
Beep.

Text message: "Hello. This is K---. I am sorry if my phone call offended you. Will you go out for drink with me?"

*Viewing no-show. Apparently psychic.

**At the time, this was a lie. Luckily, didn't mess karma. I think.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Between the desperate search for a reasonably sane, non stalkerish flatmate and the impending doom of a Czech winter I'm starting to fear for your sanity, EAP.

Think of the fun you'll have building snowmen and sledding and hunting for newer and better tea shops. ;0

Suisan said...

A very dear friend once realized that she ahd to clean up the flat so that she could show it for a potential flatmate.

Desperate for time, she stuffed her breakfast dishes in the oven. Predictably, the viewer opened the door to the oven as she strolled through the kitchen. Not so predictably, she asked, "Can I see the other oven?"

Bit of a head shaking moment there.

I don't pray often, but I'll be praying that you find a decent flatmate soon. Maybe s/he'll bring along a walrus you can share during the winter.

RPC said...

EAP, I have had the flatmate email to end all flatmate emails here.

EvilAuntiePeril said...

Ohmy. Ohmyohmyohmy. You win. I miss London.