This post is in honour of Uncle R. Mainly 'cos I'm about to steal his name joke.
Well, Katie Holmes has popped and infant Suri Xenu L. Ronnette Holmes-Cruise has arrived. Oh frabjous day! Hopefully the silent birth went er… silently, and the infant is now enjoying a noiseless week that creeps by on velvet slippers. With any luck, despite the media frenzy, the alien ghosts won't even know she's there. May she remain unpossessed by those nasty Thetans and live to help Earth reclaim its ancient grandeur as the noble planet Teegeeack, number 76 in the Galactic Confederacy.
At least her parents had the wisdom to name her after a kind of alpaca. So much wiser to set up a relationship on a higher plane between your child and the spirit of a mammal rather than that of a fruit.